Random Reflection

Firstly, I am thinking of her, yes, thinking of her, checking my phone as always, but, guess all this was ignited by the past 3 dreams I had about her.

Just read her recent blog post, i feel that she is aint as twisted as she described, but maybe, she did not bring down her barrier when she is with me. Infatuation is not bad, as least, it made me feel human again.

I'm not a risk taker, rather, in my business dealings, im a rather conservative person, tend to look for assurance and steady gains rather than high rolling returns with its own share of high potential of risk fluctuancy.

I prefer things to be mutual, like a dance, where its so fascinating and mind boogling when a step forward never seems to be infriging your partner's personal space and a step backward never show that you are backing off, but its always to compliment your dance partner.

I don't really like it, when im always taking the first step, it reaches a stage, where i felt, its like already a hundredth step and I have drifted away from a dance, rather, its like a persuit of another whom does not really give a hoot about whom I am. It generates a perceived view that im obstinate about wanting to be with her, wanting her attention, wanting her care and concern, I have my personal pride and limits too.

She is special on her own, beautiful and attractive in her way, somethings, slightly egoistic at her part but these factors are what made guys get attracted to her like bees to honey. Oh cant she see, that there are so many guys out that whom are charmed by her, it would be understatement to say that her admirers are a handful. Even the hand, as much as it trys to grab as much things as possible, many will fall off from the gaps between fingers. Its not concidental that I fell off twice, but rather, its a mystery why I got myself caught in the same strangle for a second time sadly.

If Dreams are a reflection of what we endear and hope for during our awaken times, it is just a form of self-induced delusion of a person's perceived needs which not necessary is reality. It may feel real, feel as true as it see, it deceives the senses, but it cant deceive the soul within. If Dreams are a reality, sadly, I would be a police officer, given a state funeral, for losing my life during my course of duty, during a gunfight at a Reservoir. Being shot at the heart was painful, dropping into the waters and gasping for air was awful, but waking up at realising it was just a dream, was wonderful.

Thats all.

Signing Off
Jeremy Lee C X
Mood : Clear-Minded and Ready for Work.