Its only been a few months yet we been though things which I never dream and experienced before. This led me to develop the perception that she is the one for now, and i still hold strongly to that belief til the day time prove me wrong. My heart yearns for her, its shouting out for her, but with every shout, it bleeds, it hurts. With minute i wait for her response, it feels as though hours, today, felt like a month. i was anxiously waiting for her reply, for so long, til the stage, i tot she may have met into a mishap. Shes an adult, i have complete faith in her protecting her own well being, but, i cant stop myself from thinking about the whys. Eventually the reply came, i breathe a sigh of relief, shes fine. that was the one and only message she sent me for the day.

Am i being too possessive til the stage, it becomes annoyance? I have no idea. I just knew that i missed her and it is pure agony to keep checking a mailbox which is empty. This has not only impacted my personal life but starting to creep into my working life. I know this cannot happen as I have a image to uphold, a reputation at stake and a team to lead. I sealed my emotions within me, hoping for a better future to come.

I shed a tear today, i felt i went through a beating, never once i felt such combination of negative emotions. It was awful. I shall sleep and stand up tomorrow to battle my emotions. Maybe i need to re-look at my expectations, maybe i need to re-look at myself. Maybe, just maybe, she will be there for me.